Are you only a mom now ?

Only a mom

A member of my family asked me recently, if I’m only a mom now, and where is Joanna that they used to know. And I thought about me, and about my friends with kids, who also seem to have lost themselves in maternity. In what way did we changed? What does it mean to be only a mom?

So if you too ask yourself if you’ve changed so much since you became a mother, here are couple of hints that will help you determine if you’re still your old self or not.

1. You don’t party like you used to.
If before having kids you used to go out to bars every weekend, get drunk with your friends and be hangover the next day, and now party means a toddlers birthday well than you changed. You’re a parent for sure.

2. You stopped stressing over your body
If you used to think that being sexy and stylish is more important than having breakfast, and now you’re baking cupcakes with your kids and eating the icing with your fingers, then you definitely changed in to a mother creature.

3. Your kids are more important than you.
If you used to seek fun and pleasure by consuming new objects and experiences and now you find fun and pleasure in your kids laugh and cuddles, then you have changed.

4. You don’t stress over unimportant things.
If you used to be irritated by people or things not acting like you want to, and now all you really worry about are you’re kids, then you changed. Like me, you’re a mom.

5. You’re not saying you slept bad because you woke up at seven.
If you sleep more than 5 hours including 4 undisturbed, and you consider yourself lucky, then yes, you’re a mother creature who lives on coffee.

Most definitely I’m a mother creature now, changed and different than before. Honestly I don’t see anything bad about it. I used to drink too much alcohol, stress too much about the unimportant things and think too much about my size. Sure I’m tired, and of course I’d love to travel more, but I think that overall changing into only-a-mother wasn’t that bad of a deal.

Because I believe, that throughout our lives, we play different roles at different time, and it’s all about choosing the right role at a right moment. I used to be a daughter, and a student. I used to be a young women, an adventure seeker. I used to be a perfect girlfriend. For sure, I’m still a little bit of all of the above. I’m still my mothers daughter, I’ll always have a hunger for learning and discovering new things and I’m my husbands sweetheart for life.

But most of all, at this time of my life I’m a mother. Only a mother. I want to explore this role that I’m playing now, I want to play it as good as I can, because I know it’s not a role I’ll be playing always. One day my kids will grow up, and I’ll be playing a different role. I’ll always be there to support them, but they won’t need me in the same way as they do need now.

And I believe that if there is a role in my life that I want to be playing really good, is this one. So I’m only a mom now. I might be missing in life’s adventure, I might be less sexy, stylish or up to date with the newest cultural events. And that’s fine.

And if you are having young kids, do you feel like being their parent is your main role now? How do you feel about it?

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  1. Being a mom and a wife is my primary role but I worry about what happens when I grow and they grow and go off. I do work at home but who knows how it will be in the non mom world.

  2. I LOVE this! I can’t wait to share it. While I do work part time (always based on my kids schedules) – my priority is my family. I often get the blank stare or the “I feel bad for you” look when people ask what I do and I say I am a mother. Great post! And, congratulations for being “just a mom” – it’s a tough job, but certainly rewarding.

  3. Being a mom is my most important job right now and I’m loving it. It’s not easy but like you said, our young kids won’t be needing us as much later. I also try to continue doing things that I enjoy prior to being a mom. It’s definitely important to maintain a sense of self as well.

    1. You’re so right ! As much as I love my role right now, I’m also keeping my interests and my sense of self 🙂

  4. I could not agree more. The one thing in my life that I FOR SURE do not want to mess up is being a mom! I am very happy to be “just a mom” these days. We are lucky to have great family support, so we are still able to go on dates regularly. And I still try to make it to the gym often, but it’s not the end of the world if I don’t get there. Great post!

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