When I tell to some of my friends, that I’m not done having kids, they look at me in surprise.
Two isn’t enough ? And didn’t I just explain how having kids make you loose your independence and carelessness? I’ve written about it here, and in consequence some of my friends became really scared, and decided never to have children ;). However, I did gain a lot as well ! That’s why instead of crying in depression on my bed right now, I’m pretty chilled and satisfied, despite of all the changes that I wrote about. Yes, I get to play with play dough and watch Sesame Street again, but mainly I’m happy as a mom of two, and thinking about third, because of these reasons for having kids:
1. Attachment. While I’ve lost my independence I’ve gained this amazing and strong bond with my children. This mythic love that is stronger then anything you ever witnessed before. Yes, it’s breathtaking; to see your kids do stuff for the first time. To make them laugh. To see them asleep. To cuddle in bed. These are the moments of pure happiness that, as a parent, I get to live every day. And this is really awesome.
2. Community. So while the romantic stage of my relationship is over, I’ve gained a family, and the feeling of belonging to the bigger group of people. Because as much as while being a childless couple in love, it was only about the two of us, when we started raising kids, we realized that it takes a village :). That means that I was creating bonds with more people around me, and I started to value more my community, friends and family than before having kids.
3. Creating traditions. So yes, as you might have read in my text before, I plan more my every day life since I’m a mom, but I can’t expect all my plans to turn out as I wish. It would be annoying and frustrating, to plan and then get things turn out not as you wished for.
But there is a positive to it, which is planning holidays and activities as we want it, and creating our own traditions and habits, even through the unpredictable. Living the life you always wanted as a kid. But better :).
4. The positive body image. I’m amazed by my body capacities ! Before having kids I perceived my body more as a not-perfect thing, that I should shape to please others. Not any more. Since becoming a mom, I’m amazed by what my body can do: it gave me two beautiful and healthy kids, and it can feed them too! Thanks to becoming a mom, I started to truly accept my body and love it as it is, and for what it’s capable of doing. Hurray to that !
5. Caring and being cared for. By becoming responsible I’ve lost the carelessness with which I lived happily for so long, but I’ve gained the notion of care. I care because I love. I care for my family, for my kids, but I’m also being cared for. My little one always makes sure if I also had my snack with her, and if I had my dose of kisses too :). I think it’s a win-win.
And what do you think about these reasons for having kids? What are yours?