Gone are the days when my anxieties consisted of the choice between the bottle feed-breast feed or both. Gone are the struggles of potty training and the terrible twos meltdowns. I’m pretty ok with how my kids share their toys, how they play independently and how they sleep through the night. They learned ro talk in two languages and they even like sushi and indian food.
I used to share my solutions for picky eating problems and for teaching kids how to play alone.I would give tips on teaming tantrums and on dealing with a strong willed child. I used to be alarmed by a new behavior, then try various technics and quickly find a solution. The results where fast and lasting and then I would blog about it. Because babies and toddlers are like that. Difficult but easy in a way.
Now I have a 6-year-old who’s sass have turned in to attitude, and who’s strong will have turned in to ridiculous stubbornness. Every month there’s a new thing on my radar and every day I’m asking myself if she’ll actually turn out ok? Will she become a compassionate human being? Will she ever stop with the tantrums? Let’s just say that I’m in doubt more often then not.
And with these thoughts, I fell like I should stop writing about parenting all together. Because lately I have more questions than answers to be honest.
And while reading other parenting blogs I have an impression it’s not only me: somehow we share in general less and less while the kids step in to the school age. I guess this is when we realize that there are no easy solutions that work anymore, and that our kids are these little complex humans who are changing everyday now.
See, I used to be able to find solutions to all the parenting problems I encountered and now I hope that ” it’s just a phase and it will pass”. And this has become my mantra. It’s just a phase. It will pass.
Motherhood is a funny thing,. We hope for the best outcome, but we don’t really know how to get there. And we all have a different definition of ‘”there”. For me, it’s kind and happy independent kids. Who know what they want, and who are in connection with others.
And I heard somewhere, that the best way to understand someone ( who’s acting bad) is not by accusing him, but by compassionateing with him.
So my only answer to all these questions lately is to try to be more understanding. Even of the biggest attitude and of the biggest meltdown. Because keeping my calm and compassion can go a long way. And I hope that by showing kids empathy, they will learn it too. And for everything else, I repeat my mantra: it’s just a phase. It will pass.