Forget about the drawers, closets and hallways. There’s something that’s much more important, and it’s your emotional life. If you feel unhappy in your routine, drained emotionally by people around you, and lost in your life, then it’s time to rethink and reevaluate, it’s time to organize your emotional life.
Of course, it’s not as easy as making space in the drawers. But if you’ll only take some time to answer yourself these questions, you just might start the new year with a fresh regard, a new attitude, and reorganized emotional life!
So grub a cup of coffee, a notepad and a pen, and let’s start a little self-help session, she’ll we? Just be honest with yourself, and always write down the very first thing that comes to your mind:
1. What relations are draining you out ?
If none, then good for you! If there’s one or two, write down when, and how these people are draining out your energy. Ask yourself if you’ve set clear boundaries in the past. If not, now is the time. Here is a good article about setting boundaries.
And if you feel that in your entourage there are more than two people who’re eating all of your energy and are draining you out, then it’s a clear signal that you might have a problem with setting boundaries in general. Maybe a session or two with a therapist would help you with that.
2. What relations add energy and joy to your life ?
Write down who’s your joy, motivation and support. Now find a way to spend more time with these people! Happiness comes from fulfilling relations, so start your year with extra happiness by making more time for those people who really make you happy!
3. When and with who do you feel negative emotions most often?
Are these the same people who drain your energy? If yes, maybe it’s time to cut them off your life.
Are these the same people who equally make you happy? If so, maybe it’s something about your communication, or your expectations?
Try writing down within the next week, when do you feel negative emotions about the people who are also making you happy. Usually it’s close family, people who we love, who can make as the happiest, but also the most frustrated.
After you write down for a week when and in which type of situation you get frustrated with the people that you love, you should start seeing a pattern. So, do your negative emotions appear when you’re stressed and tired? Could you need more time for yourself?
Do you feel like you’re not well understood? Like they don’t understand, or listen to what you’re saying,or like they don’t understand what you need? Try upgrading your communication skills, here is a good article to get you started.
Is it about people not meeting your expectations? Here are very well written tips about setting realistic expectations in a relationship , and here about setting up expectations with children.
3. How your routine makes you feel ?
Do you wake up in the morning exited about your day, mildly content, frustrated or all together unhappy?
Which part of your day do you love, and which one you hate?
What can you change?
Is it possible that your attitude toward your everyday life affects your relations with family and friends?
If you feel stuck in your everyday life, try answering all of these questions. Then think about what little changes you can insert, so you’d feel happier in your routine.
4. What really makes you happy?
I’m not talking satisfied, mildly content. And I don’t mean that feeling of achievement nor making someone else happy. What action really makes you feel happy? When do you forget the time, and you feel like you were made to do that very thing?
Did you find it? Whatever it is (of course as long if it’s not destructive for you or others) do it more.
And if you didn’t find it, now it’s the time. After all, all we really have is today.